This week has been a very tough and emotional week for my family. My grandma passed away peacefully in her home this past Sunday, surrounded by her husband and a few of her children, including my mom.
Isn’t it funny how you think of your parents and grandparents as being invincible? It becomes easy to take them for granted because you assume they’ll just always be there. I mean sure, you figure that eventually they’ll pass away, but you never actually think that day will come. We go about our lives, busy with jobs, school, hobbies, friends, and whatever else and before we know it, we are facing the grim reality of watching those we love leave us. Left to figure out life without them and how to move on while dealing with the grief of losing them.
My grandma had been sick for the past few years, and especially the past few months. In a way, that made it a little easier to come to grips with losing her when she finally passed away because we had known it was coming for such a long time. Still though, it doesn’t take away the sadness and it doesn’t make losing her any less painful. Losing my grandma was a blessing in a way because she is finally at peace. My family watched her suffer and slowly become sicker and sicker as time went on, so when we finally lost her, we knew she wasn’t suffering anymore. So at last for that we could all be grateful. It is difficult to express how devastating it was to watch my grandma fight for her life every second in her last few weeks, so as sad as it was to see her go, I am grateful that she doesn’t have to suffer any longer.
I don’t have words though, to describe what it was like to watch my mom hold her mother’s hand and cry over her after she was gone. It was something I have never experienced before and left me feeling helpless. One of the hardest things in life is to watch someone suffer or break in front of you, but be unable to help. Such an empty, desperate feeling.
Watching my mom grieve over her mother reminded me of the sobering fact that no one lives forever. That every good thing must one day end. It reminded me to laugh a little more, love a little harder, and anger a little less. Admire the beauty around me, smile more often, and make the most of every single day. Everyone says it, but life really is short, and you don’t want to have regrets when it comes to the end. Tell your family that you love them, spend more time with those you love, and forgive those you’ve been holding a grudge against. At the end of it all, you want to know that you gave as much love to the world as you could.
So, I dedicate this post to my grandma – Phyllis Ann. A woman with an inspiring legacy and so many wonderful talents. A woman whose life will always we remembered with the utmost respect and love. A woman who will be missed dearly by many. A woman who will never be forgotten.
Love you grandma, I’ll be seeing you.